


Sunshine And Snakes

by Rowan_Rites



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit Has Pet Snake, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I Don't Know The Ending Either, Idek I'll Add More Tags Later, M/M, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, We Shall See Folks, We'll Make It Up As We Go, maybe its not really a slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-01-02 17:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21165527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowan_Rites/pseuds/Rowan_Rites
Summary: Patton and Deceit don't see eye-to-eye on many things. But maybe some things they do. Things like how cookies should be made, and how nice spring air smells, or that Thomas deserves to be nothing but happy. Perhaps they can learn to understand a bit more about each other.





	1. Spaghetti And Sarcasm

**Author's Note:**

> I am four days away from turning 20. Whew.  
Anyway, let's hope I can keep up this alliteration for the whole work! Enjoy this, and all that jazz.

Deceit hated having to have dinner with the core sides. Virgil had explained that Patton insisted. "If you two are going to be such a big part of Thomas," he had grumbled, hands crammed into his hoodie pockets. "Then you have to at least try to get along with us. So, we eat dinner together every Wednesday night. Besides. Maybe it'll help Thomas or something."

And now here he was, Remus on his right side and Logan on his left. Of course, Deceit had ended up at the end of the table across from Patton. No one spoke as they began to eat the spaghetti in front of them.

Finally, Roman broke the silence with a huff. "Remus, please. Can you use the fork? Honestly..."

Remus paused in cramming the food into his face. His hands and face were coated in sauce. "Okay." He picked the fork up, twirled it into his hair, and went back to eat noisily.

"How dignified, Remus," Deceit sighed.

"Like a dinglehopper, right?"

Everyone looked up to stare at Patton, who was smiling tightly. "I guess..." Roman said.

The meal was once again silent. Deceit finished eating and stood. "Thank you so much for the meal. It was lovely and not at all awkward," he said. He started heading back to his room. As he walked, he heard groans as Remus began to talk, and Deceit smirked.

"The whole thing was stupid! they called me dumb for not using the fork their way! It's so weird to deal with pasta and forks. Just use your hands, you pricks!" Remus ranted. He had come to vent to Deceit and was now draped dramatically across Deceit's lap on his bed.

Deceit nodded as Remus talked and ranted. He had done this for years. For Remus, yes, but also for Virgil at one point. Then Virgil became... Too strong. He needed to be a core side. Not one of The Others.

Still. These moments always did remind Deceit vaguely of Virgil smiling up at him through a tear-streaked face after a particularly bad day. He looked down at Remus, who was looking up at him with a pout. "It will never change," Deceit said quietly.

Remus sighed. "But WHAT will change? Us or them? I don't want to be anyone but myself..." he said.

Deceit raised an eyebrow. "We must all change," he said slowly. It was sometimes difficult to avoid speaking in lies. An odd trait, but Remus understood the differences in his speech. "If we do not all change -if we cannot all compromise- then nothing will get better. Do you see? We must meet in the middle."

Remus glared. Not really at Deceit, but a glare nonetheless. "Well, why do we have to change first?"

Deceit shrugged. "It's fair."

Remus sighed. "So we just all wait until someone changes first?" he asked.

"I know, Remus," Deceit replied.

The black-and-green clad man groaned and flopped onto the floor. "Fine. I'll go to my room and blow some shit up. That'll make me happier. Ooo, LITERAL shit!" he said, perking up quickly.

Deceit rolled his eyes as Remus sank through the floor. He took off his cape and hat and stood to put them on their hook. Then, turning sharply, he grabbed his book and sat down at his desk to read. It was nice to find some peace and quiet since he and Remus had stepped into Thomas' consciousness.

As if on queue, there was a knock at his door. It was crisp and metered. Must be Logan. Deceit put his bookmark back into his book. He put his hat and cape back on - a man should always fit his aesthetic when being seen by others - and pulled the door open.

As expected, there was Logan. "Hello, Logan. Did you do something different with your hair? It looks wonderful," Dee said, sarcasm dripping like honey from every word.

Logan raised one eyebrow slightly. "I'm here to talk about Remus. He stained the carpet with his spaghetti incident. Patton is asking that he clean it up himself," he explained.

Dee frowned. "Remus doesn't live here. He has his own room. Right across from Roman's room, actually," he said.

"He is not answering. And none of us are keen on going into his room. Although he can't harm us, it is still uncomfortable," Logan replied.

The two stared at each other. "Well. What about when Roman snuck into Remus' room and dumped a bucket of soapy water on him in bed? Oh, but Roman is a good guy. He doesn't have to clean up his messes, surely. My mistake," Deceit snapped.

Logan sighed. "Patton insists that it will teach Remus to keep his disastrous messes to himself. I have to agree. Studies have shown-"

Deceit lowered his gaze and shoved past Logan, slamming his door shut behind him. He was constantly protecting Remus. It was only right. No one else would, after all. He marched downstairs to the table. There were splotches of spaghetti sauce everywhere.

Deceit looked up to see Patton in the doorway to the kitchen, holding a plate of cookies. Dee smirked and walked up to Patton, nabbing two cookies off the plate. "Oh, I shouldn't, but I do love chocolate," he said. He snapped, and the sauce stains disappeared. "Almost as much as I love spaghetti! Such a lovely dish. Too bad there's no evidence of any spaghetti being made here today..."

Dee took a bite of the warm cookie as he walked away. Pumpkin chocolate chip, in honor of fall. Not bad... Though a bit cakey. "Tell Remus he's not off the hook just because his boyfriend takes care of all his problems!" Roman yelled from the couch, having seen the whole thing.

Deceit turned, cold eyes staring into Roman's glare. "He's like a brother to me. Something you would know nothing of," Dee replied. Then he marched back to his room. Logan had disappeared. Good. Deceit shut his door and locked it, then took off his hat and cape and tossed them over his dresser.

He flopped down sideways in his chair and kept eating his cookies. "This whole situation is just LOVELY, Jude," he mumbled, looking up at the two-headed snake in its enclosure next to the desk. The snake looked back at him blankly. Dee kicked off his boots and sighed.

It was exhausting, looking after Remus. The others truly believed they would be better without him. How quaint. As if they hadn't already seen how difficult it was to function without ONE side. What about when that side is half of Thomas' creativity?

Deceit finished the cookies, licking chocolate off his fingers. "Well, loves. Suppose it's time to get sssssome sleep," he said, nodding to the watchful snake heads. Dee flopped onto his bed and curled under his heated blanket. The only sounds were the gentle hum of the heat lamp in the snake enclosure and Dee's soft snores.


	2. Anger And Apples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noodle arms and chocolate milk and Patton is a dad

Deceit awoke to the sound of metal clashing together outside, and Remus shouting obscenities. "Shit," Dee mumbled, jumping out of bed in his pajamas. He opened his door and looked down the hall.

Remus was buck naked on an end table, swinging his morning star at Roman angrily. "Shut up! I was taking a shower and didn't see the point in wearing CLOTHES just to UNDRESS! Stop trying to STAB me!"

"We don't want to see that, you uncouth dragon fart!" Roman yelled back. "Get some clothes on or so help me-"

Deceit groaned. He snapped his fingers, and Remus was in a black and green bathrobe. "Oh, thank you, gentlemen. I do so love being woken up this time of day. I certainly don't enjoy sleeping in, no. Please continue to wake me up in such a manner. Definitely won't end poorly for you," Dee growled.

He headed downstairs, grumbling as he held his head. He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed an apple and the jug of chocolate milk that Virgil always kept around. He held the apple in his teeth tightly as he shut the fridge with his foot.

Patton stood in front of the cabinet of glasses and glared. "I was in the middle of making breakfast. Will you please wait like the rest of us?"

Dee rolled his eyes, holding the apple and finishing the bite he'd already taken as a third arm slid up behind Patton and opened the cabinet. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we are forced to eat breakfast together, too! Oh, I really am sorry. I know how important it is for you to feed into your delusions that we can all be a big, happy, saccharine sweet family," he said, a fake smile reaching all the way up the snake side of his mouth.

Dee's third arm came back to him with a glass, and he poured the chocolate milk as two other hands gestured. "Of course, I should have realized how the others tolerate my presence. And how you even let Remus eat at the table!" he continued.

Deceit's arms stretched to open the fridge and put the chocolate milk back. He took a sip of the creamy drink before grinning darkly at Patton's stern look. "But after all. All I know is how to be a slimy, slippery snake. The bad guy. The Joker to your Batman, the Ozai to your Aang. Guess I ought to play the part," he said.

Patton's look changed, from the father disciplining a child to a holier-than-thou expression. "Well, I wouldn't say an Ozai. More like Zuko. I think you could be good if you wanted to," he said. "I was just trying to make you feel comfortable here.

Dee laughed. "Oh, pardon me! I didn't realize that forcing me to interact when I don't want to and making me the middle man for problems you have with Remus is supposed to make me comfortable! I'll keep that in mind!" he said. "Please, just keep doing that. I love it so much."

Dee turned on his heel, his extra arms disappearing as he headed up the stairs to his room. Everyone was silent. Thank god... He slipped in and closed the door.

And that's when Dee realized that he had done all of that in his yellow flannel pajama set and black fuzzy socks. He groaned as he looked at the cape and hat on the dresser. "There goes my aesthetic..."

Dee tossed on his usual shirt and pants, shoving his gloves into his pocket. He then sat down on the floor in front of the snake enclosure. Jude was still curled up in their little hide, and Dee smiled softly. Only a few things made him as happy as his pet snake. He sipped his milk and ate his apple, enjoying the quiet. He winced at the pain shooting through his skull. An odd time for a headache.

The clock on the wall ticked faithfully as the day went on. Jude was awake now and slithered over someplace warm to relax. As Dee, watched, his eyes got heavy.

He woke up, his head now pounding. "Oh, good lord above," he groaned, gripping his head. His hair was a mess. The glass had been knocked over, thankfully empty. Deceit stood up slowly, picking up the glass and the apple core before tossing on his hat and cloak and heading out the door.

It was now about 3 in the afternoon. Virgil was asleep across Logan's lap as Logan read a book on the couch. Logan's free hand was gently brushing through Virgil's hair. Roman was presumably in his room, as was Remus. Patton was asleep across the armchair. Thank god.

Deceit fumbled into the bathroom after taking this all in, grabbing the ibuprofen before heading back out and down the stairs to get some water. Logan looked up as Dee passed. "Are you alright, Deceit?" he asked quietly.

Dee nodded, waving a hand dismissively. "I'm in no pain. Thank you," he said.

Logan watched Deceit disappear into the kitchen. He listened to Dee fumbling in the cabinets, pouring a glass of water, taking the pills, finishing the glass. He watched him walk back out.

"You should talk to Patton when he wakes up," Logan said quietly. "He was also having a headache. It may mean something, considering your functions are both, fundamentally, connected."

"Thank you for your concern," Deceit said, never stopping his pace. He was merely dehydrated. If everyone's dearest Morality had a headache, that was no one's problem but his own.


	3. Headaches And Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Deceit sick, Remus has to take care of him. But after a bit, someone else drops by as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be followed almost immediately by chapter two. Woo, fun stuff. This one merely establishes something even more effective than the "there's only one bed in here" trope. Introducing the "being apart for too long causes a headache for no real discernible reason except it's convenient!" trope!  
Seriously though. This will be fun.

Dee stayed mostly in his room for the next week. His headache wouldn't go away. Remus dropped in the next day, thankfully. "The nerve! They won't even let me- Oh my god, Deceit, you look like someone ate shit and then puked it back up. What's going on?" the man asked, sitting down next to Dee.

"M'fine," Deceit said quietly, holding his head. "No headache. Feel great. Love loud noises and bright lights; they definitely help."

Remus jumped up and turned out the light, the only lights in the room the heat lamps in Jude's enclosure. "Okay," he said softly. "Do you need anything?"

Dee didn't move, then slowly nodded. "I'm not hungry. And I definitely want to go out so the others can see me and talk loudly," he replied. "Can... Can you get me some food, Remus?"

Remus patted Deceit's face, still adjusting to the dim light. "Sure thing, Scales," he said, still fighting to keep his voice down. He sank down, and Dee heard shouts and crashing from the kitchen. A moment later, Remus was back. There was Dee's favorite mug in his right hand and a plate of roast beef and horseradish sandwich in his left. "Here, take this and I'll go get some soup. Can't have you getting sick on me, man," he said. Once Dee had sat up and taken the food, Remus vanished again. Deceit sat down at his desk and sipped the tea. Green, stuffed full of honey. Maybe Remus was wild and disturbing, but what the others didn't see was this. His reckless abandon for helping his little family, and his attention to details like Dee's favorite sandwich.

This went on for about a week. Sometimes Remus was late, but he always brought one of Dee's favorite foods and drinks. Probably to avoid grossing out the poor sickly side. Deceit's headache didn't get better, and Dee knew that it was worrying Remus.

To stop Remus from worrying, Dee did everything to look presentable and okay despite the skull-splitting pain. He winced as he heard the knock at the door. Snapping his fingers to get his usual outfit on, he dragged himself to his feet and sat at the desk. "Don't come in," he called.

The door opened and someone walked in. Dee's head was on his desk, waiting for the door to close so it would be dark again. It didn't. "Remus, please leave the door open. It's not bright at all," he said.

The door closed. Deceit breathed a sigh of relief as he sat up and looked around. Then he froze.

"You're not Remus," he said.

"I'm afraid my dear brother has vanished in the imagination for the day, and no one can find him. But fear not, my sick snaky man! For Patton and I have noticed Remus coming in here every day, and realized you must still have that headache that Logan mentioned!" Roman said, already practically singing.

Deceit groaned, Roman's booming voice only aggravating his headache. "Lovely..." he sighed.

"Roman, get out, please. Go make some food; you're too loud for him," Patton's voice said.

"Fine," Roman huffed, walking out the door and closing it behind him.

Deceit stared at Patton, who was shifting his weight awkwardly. "I've got a headache too. Loud noises and movement make it worse," he said. "Logan thinks they're related.

"Of course he does," Dee grumbled. "Could you and the man child kindly not enter my room again? I am quite fine on my own."

"Today is Wednesday. I've named it Family Day instead of Family Dinner Day. We're just gonna take care of you for a bit if that's okay. Logan is looking for headache medicine," Patton continued, sitting down near Jude's enclosure. "I didn't know you had a pet snake... That's really cool." 

"Look, Patton... I do not want your charity. Truly, I am fine. I simply need more rest," Dee replied, his teeth gritted in focus as he tried not to lie.

"I understand that, but um... I think something's up. It's been a week, Deceit. We need to figure this out. We can even go right back to not talking once it's solved. I won't even make you eat dinner with us! You can just stay in your room and play with your snake. Promise," Patton pleaded.

Dee rolled his eyes and leaned back in the chair, propping his feet up on the desk. "Sure you will," he sighed.

"I will. I promise. I mean it, Dee. I... I just want Thomas to be okay. He's been... Well..." Patton trailed off.

Dee's feet hit the ground as he stood up. "What'ssssss wrong with Thomas?" he growled.

"Thomas is also in a noticeable amount of pain. It has hindered his productivity and interrupted his usual creative process," Logan said. He had snuck in the doorway. "He has become snappish with friends due to the pain, which has made him more anxious than usual. Remus has had more free rein and has only not been worse because he is trying to care for you."

Deceit frowned. "Thomas is in pain. Is he not allowed to be a bit irritable because of it?"

"The point is that we need to try to fix whatever's going on to help Thomas," Patton said. "Please, Deceit. I just want our guy to be okay."

Deceit looked at Patton's eyes. Sincere, as he always was. Dee sighed. "Fine. Only for Thomas. Got it?" he said.

Patton nodded emphatically. "Anything to make him feel better! So, where do we start?"


	4. Truces and Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family sits down to talk after Deceit and Patton come to a wary agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter accomplished little. But! We have Deceit better explaining my interpretation of his motives! I know the canon ones, but this is how I write it. Y'know?  
Oh! And the table is better! It was a square before Dee and Remus showed up more, then a rectangle. This was the best compromise Pat could think of. Coincidentally, it also makes the headache go away by having Deceit closer! A win-win. Right?

Deceit sat next to Patton on the couch, glaring underneath his hat. "This is quite productive," he grumbled.

"Isn't it, though? My head feels all better! All we gotta do is stay close to each other, I guess! And maybe if we start to understand each other, then it'll go away and you can go back to being mysterious and weird!" Patton said cheerfully. "Course, we're all weird in different ways!"

Deceit rested his elbow on the arm of the couch, his hand supporting his head. "Oh yes, just stay near each other. Not like we can't stand the sight of each other or anything..." he said under his breath.

Virgil sat snickering in an armchair nearby. "Aww, poor snakey not wanting a redemption arc today? Suck it up and be nice to Patton," he said.

"Oh, you're not enjoying this or anything. Remind me, who taught you to use sarcasm as a defense mechanism?" Dee snapped. "Oh, certainly not me! No, I surely never taught you anything to make you feel happier."

"Okay, okay! It's alright! We've all got some little things to work on so we can get comfy being around each other more often, but we don't have to fight!" Patton said nervously. "No, I know I can be a little..." Patton paused as he pulled up a bowl of popcorn. "Pop-corny."

Virgil laughed, both at the joke and Deceit's pained groan. "But we can learn!" Patton said, clearly excited to hear an open and honest laugh from Virgil. "Maybe the headache thing was a sign. We're yin and yang, two sides of the same Thomas! We have to learn to get along and work together, like all of us have."

There was a clatter upstairs, then a shout. Remus charged down the stairs. "HEY! Leave him alone! He's hurting!" the man shouted, vaulting over the love seat. He scooped Dee up and started to run off with him.

He quickly dropped Deceit to the floor as he yelped in pain, scrambling back next to a Patton who was holding his head. Remus frowned.

Virgil glared at Remus. "What the hell, man?!" he yelled.

"Oh yes, yell at him for something no one cared to tell him about. Not like he's been the only one thinking to look after me for the past week," Dee replied. "Remus. I can't be close to Patton. He didn't have a headache as well. Being close to each other does not fix it."

"That's stupider than anything Roman dreams up!" Remus shouted, stomping his foot. "Worse than fish guts full of shit and acid and... Wait. That means that... That..."

"I won't be in my room at night," Deceit said reassuringly. "We can’t take pain medicine to handle it."

Patton started to protest but noticed the worry on Remus' face disappear. Remus didn't say anything as he walked off. Deceit sighed, adjusting his gloves carefully. "Are... Are you and Remus a thing?" Patton asked. 

Virgil made a gagging sound, as did Deceit. "Absolutely; I want to date someone with no respect for boundaries. Not like I see him as a misunderstood and outcast child who is desperate for affection and understanding. Nor do I wish to help him find a place in Thomas’ mind. Absolutely not," Dee replied.

"Oh... Okay, that makes sense," Patton said slowly. "I'm gonna have to get used to you speaking in lies, I guess."

"It is easier to speak as if I am lying. It is... A bit like sarcasm. Not like I care how you take what I say, anyway. And that was quite honest," Dee snorted.

Patton looked at Virgil, who was on his phone with earbuds in. One earbud was out, so he was listening. "W-well... Let's go make some tea. Virge tells me you're simply tea-riffic at making it!"

Deceit rolled his eyes and followed Patton into the kitchen. He put the kettle on to boil, then frowned at the tea selection on the counter. "Such variety," he sighed. There was earl grey or peppermint teas. Nothing else. And the peppermint was likely only because of Virgil... "Does Logan drink tea?"

"Not really. But Roman does! He likes having cute little tea parties with imagined versions of celebrities." Patton laughed. "He invited me once. It was really cute!"

Dee grunted. Remus didn't do tea parties. Though he had invited Deceit to sit in on a recreation of the dinner party in which Al Capone had some men brutally murdered during dessert. He had been washing the blood out of his shirt for weeks... But it had made Remus so happy.

Deceit snapped his fingers, and a box of oolong appeared in the cabinet. He began pulling out a tray, a cup for cream, a bowl for sugar, teacups -proper ones, no silly themed mugs- and saucers to set them on. All six arms were hard at work.

Deceit turned to see Patton staring in bewilderment. "Are... Are we having a tea party...?"

"Sorry. Thought you might like to have proper tea," Deceit replied defensively. "My mistake."

"No, no!" Patton replied, stopping the hand that was moving to put back the spoons it had grabbed. "Look... Can we call a truce? I promise to try not to insult you, and... And you promise to try to understand. Okay? We gotta try. We can't function with that headache, and neither can Thomas."

Dee sighed. A free hand offered to shake Patton's. "Fine. Would you please get us some snacks? Small cookies, fruits, perhaps some nuts," he said.

Patton shook his hand energetically, then ran to get the snacks as Deceit continued to watch the tea kettle, stopping it before it whistled to add the tea. Patton watched curiously but didn't say anything as he poured frosted animal crackers into a pretty bowl. Dee checked his watch, timing the tea before pouring a cup. He took a cautious sip as the extra arms retracted, then nodded approvingly. He handed another cup to Patton silently. Patton sipped, his eyes lighting up. "This is good! It's so tasty!"

Deceit smirked. "The others should join us for tea. If you and I are calling a truce, then it will have to be household-wide, I'm afraid. Including Remus," he suggested, extra arms reappearing to carry the tea tray and snacks to the table.

"W-Wait, Remus drinks tea? Are... Are you sure he'd like this...?" Patton stammered.

Deceit turned and raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to make this whole thing work? As much as you seem to think I enjoy hurting Thomas... I truly don't. If all of us can learn to get along, then perhaps Thomas will feel a bit less... Fragmented?" he said.

"Oh... I guess..." Patton replied.

Dee rolled his eyes. "Virgil! Would you be a dear and go get all the others, please?" he called.

Virgil groaned. "Stop talking like someone's mom!" he shouted. But Dee and Patton heard his soft footsteps as he headed upstairs.

Patton followed Dee to the table to avoid the pain creeping back in. He wasn't looking forward to having to have the headache again tonight, but he didn't want to know what would happen to Deceit in his room. Or vice versa...

Deceit turned on his heel and headed back to the kitchen, grabbing Patton’s shoulder to guide him. “While the food you cook to serve us all is adequate, Remus is… A picky eater,” Deceit explained. He was speaking slowly to avoid lying. He was hoping it didn’t come off as pretentious. He was too tired for more arguing with Morality.

“What?” Patton asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“To avoid any further incidents like last week’s dinner escapades,” Deceit said, a bit too sharply. “There is a specific way to cook for Remus. It’s his favorite.”

Patton’s expression went from interested as Deceit pulled out the blender; to confusion as he opened the fridge to pull out the chocolate milk, pickles, some ice, ketchup, and mustard; to disgust and horror and Deceit dumped all these things unceremoniously into the blender and pulsed them together. “That’s vile!” Patton said.

Deceit shrugged as he poured it into a large sippy cup. “Remus was never given a chance to develop and ‘mature’ as Roman has. He is childish as a result. And his nature is to be vile. This is something he enjoys, while the sippy cup allows him to still be ridiculous without making a mess. You can blend any of his meals up with a bit of ice and Kool-Aid and put them in here. He likes to fake being a vampire with all that… It should prevent any future messes.”

Patton watched Deceit, a slight warmth in his eyes. “You… Really care about Remus, don’t you?”

Deceit’s expression softened a moment, extra hands assisting with putting things away. “Well. I…” he paused and cleared his throat, now switching to an unreadable expression. “Someone has to.” He turned and headed to the table with Remus’ cup, Patton rushing to keep up.

Remus and Roman sat next to each other. Virgil sat to Logan’s left, clicking a fidget cube in his left hand. Logan had a book tucked under his leg, having been interrupted for this unexpected snack. Patton sat at his usual end of the table, and Deceit at the other. They both winced, the pain threatening to return even at this distance.

“So! I have an announcement!” Patton said suddenly.

“And what is that, Patton?” Roman asked, leaning an elbow on the table with a grin.

“Ooo! Is the tea secretly blood?” Remus asked excitedly.

Patton grimaced. “N-no… It’s about this table! We all love this table. It’s where we first had meals together, where we’ve made huge progress as a big happy family!” he explained.

“But…?” Virgil prompted.

“It’s time to say goodbye to our old table… And hello to the new one!” Patton said. He snapped his fingers, and the whole room seemed to shift a bit.

The table was now circular. “There! No head, no foot, no sides. A perfect table for a happy family!” he said.

Deceit was now sat right next to Patton. He instinctually bared his teeth, but quickly composed himself. “Sssssssimply ssssplendid,” he mumbled.

Logan adjusted his glasses, nodding approvingly. “This will be an excellent start to getting along with our newest additions, I’m sure,” he said.

Remus and Roman were still sat next to each other, and both glared at the other. “Do I have to sit next to him?” Roman asked.

“Hey, Logan has to sit next to him too. And he almost killed Logan,” Virgil growled. The clicking seemed faster now. The change was not welcome by everyone.

Still, they began to serve the tea. Patton poured the cups while Deceit handed Remus his cup. “Here you are, Remus. Your favorite snack. Do not try anything funny; I’m not making you more,” he warned, raising an eyebrow jokingly.

“Me? Try something funny? Never!” Remus laughed.

Roman gagged at the smell. “What IS that?!”

“You don’t need to know; it’s what Remus likes, not you. And that’s okay!” Patton chirped, handing a cup of tea to Roman.

Virgil rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath and sipped the tea quietly. His eyes went wide. “Wait, Dee made this,” he said.

“Well, sure, kiddo! I’m a choco-LOT better at cocoa than tea! And it was Deceit’s suggestion to have a tea party. Isn’t it fun?” Patton replied.

Everyone was quiet. Virgil wouldn’t drink the tea anymore, glaring daggers at Deceit as he ate the tiny chocolate chip cookies. Logan raised an eyebrow but said nothing as he continued sipping his tea. Remus slurped loudly from his sippy cup, seeming perfectly content with it. At one point, he popped the lid off the top and dropped a couple of animal crackers in, then put the lid back on and shook the cup violently. Roman turned a shade greener at the sight but continued drinking his own tea.

“This isn’t uncomfortable at all,” Deceit grumbled. He had only invited the others to help Remus understand that this was okay. And temporary.

Patton seemed incredibly uncomfortable by all this. Everyone but Remus did. Dee finally sighed. “Logan. I see you’ve been engrossed in a new book. Interesting?” he asked.

Logan looked up, a bit surprised by the observation. “Yes, actually. I have been doing some research into various facts about global warming. It is a fascinating topic, though frustrating how people will lie to themselves about it,” he replied.

“Indeed. People will lie about many things to feel that they have a safe world view,” Deceit replied. Virgil looked at him sharply but said nothing.

“Indeed. It is a shame when science and logic are tossed aside for the sake of being… right,” Logan sighed.

“Ah, but a gentle lie to spare a friend? Or a harsh truth to ruin the relationship? Always a difficult decision, that,” Dee chuckled, shaking his head.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “But in this instance, the lying to oneself benefits nothing but the liar’s ego, correct? It is detrimental to the planet, to relationships with some others, and a plethora of flora and fauna. Why do it?” he asked.

Dee glanced at Patton, who so far was very quiet. Then to Roman, who was intently staring into his teacup. Remus was watching Dee with a smirk. Dee chuckled. “No reason but to spare the precious ego. And to avoid having to worry. Global warming worries Thomas, doesn’t it, Virgil?”

“Of course it does, but that’s not-“

Dee raised his hands defensively. “I am not saying that Thomas shouldn’t worry; even I can’t deny that it is a very real and pressing issue. However. Some make different choices, in order to not be wrong. To not have to admit to being wrong. To not have to make changes and try to help,” he explained. “Of course, some are merely ignorant.”

Logan nodded slowly. “That does make sense… I appreciate your input on the subject, Dee. I will… I will take it into consideration in my research,” he replied.

The room fell silent. Tension hung in the air. Finally, Virgil stood up with a sigh. “Sorry, folks. I’ve got a nap to take. Later, I guess,” he said. And he walked off.

Remus left afterward, his cup empty and a full grin on his face. Roman followed just after Remus. Logan continued sipping tea, now taking his book out to read while he enjoyed it. Patton got up to clear the table, and Dee sighed as he followed him.

Patton was quiet as Deceit hopped up onto the counter, enjoying one last cup of tea. “Logan is quite the talker,” he commented.

Patton nodded. Deceit raised an eyebrow, grinning a bit. “Oh? Didn’t like the topic of conversation? Ah, global warming is SO hard to talk about, you know…” he chuckled.

“I don’t like lying,” Patton replied.

“I had noticed. No lying. All that,” Deceit replied.

“So why do you always bring it up around me?” Patton asked with a frown.

Deceit leaned one hand on the counter, a third hand now appearing to gesture vaguely toward Patton. “Quite the puzzle there, eh? As if you bring out, well… The me in me. You are Morality. The sense of right and wrong, the moral compass to point Thomas north and all that,” he explained. He took a sip of his tea before he gestured to himself. “By contrast, I am also his sense of right and wrong. But rather than being what is objectively good, I am about what is right for Thomas. What is right for him, Patton? To live his life lying to himself about the best thing to do, for himself?”

Patton frowned as Deceit continued. “Or to take the reins of his life? Truly seize the day, fight for his hopes and dreams, the love he desires, and make his mark on the world?”

Deceit was quiet a moment, watching Patton’s expression as he washed the dishes. “I suppose it is, in the end, up to Thomas. Maybe we will never stop being at odds. He can’t always be happy giving things up for friends, so I am needed to lie about being happy. As… reluctant as I am to do that,” he sighed. “And sometimes, Thomas will take time and things for himself rather than for others. And you and Virge can make him miserable all day long about it, but it won’t change the fact that it’s what he wants, Patton.”

Patton slammed his hands down, gripping the edge of the sink. He took a deep breath before letting go and getting back to the dishes. “You’re just trying to get my goat. Well, too bad, buster! I don’t have a goat! Roman won’t give me one…”

Deceit’s look of confusion was enough to make Patton smile for real. Then, Dee rolled his eyes and hopped off the counter. “Fine. Joke around. We’ll come back to this conversation. All the time in the world to talk now,” he grumbled.


	5. Discussions And Donuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understanding each other a little bit? A jam session? Pets? Remus attempting to be brothers again with Roman? We've got it all tonight.

That night, Remus quietly ranted to Deceit. The headache was almost unbearable after so long of not having it, but Dee knew this was important. “And the way Roman looks at me…! I miss being little, right after the split. When we still talked and played,” he sighed. “I miss being brothers.”

Deceit looked up at Remus’ wistful gaze into a distance only he could see. “You aren’t brothers anymore?” Deceit finally asked.

Remus sighed. “Not really. Not like you and I are, you know? I… I lost him when I became ‘bad’ and all that,” he said. “We got together. Sure, we fought, but we got along. I didn’t mind playing the evil villain. Then he stopped wanting to play. We got serious, you remember, when Thomas started getting serious about Vine and YouTube and all that. And Roman decided I wasn’t good enough. My ideas aren’t helping Thomas reach his dreams.”

Deceit wrapped an arm around Remus’ shoulders, noticing the tears threatening to spill over. This was why Deceit tried to stop most interactions between Roman and Remus. The Duke was a sensitive soul, just like Roman. But Roman clearly didn’t miss his twin.

Remus buried his face into Deceit’s shoulder. All six arms appeared to wrap Remus in a tight hug. “Roman will come around. I swear to you, Remus. He will see that he is not the all-encompassing Creativity that he thinks he is. He will see that he needs you,” Deceit said quietly. “Go and get some rest.”

Remus nodded. After a moment, he stood and sank out to his own room. Deceit sighed and laid down on his bed, his head pounding. He worried about Remus. But now was not the time for big movements to force the others to give Remus the care and understanding he deserved.

The next morning, Deceit was up early, dressed, and in the kitchen. Patton was sitting at the table, his arms crossed on the table to support his chin. His glasses just barely failed to cover the dark circles under his eyes. Deceit struggled to stifle a yawn as he sat down next to Patton. “Are we making breakfast or sitting here exhausted? Because I am a fan of the latter, but the former is more productive,” he said.

Patton took a deep breath, smiling slightly as he relished the relief from the pain. “Well, I was kinda thinking something fun and quick! Something that doesn’t take making. We could start some coffee or tea, maybe some cocoa!” he replied.

Dee raised an eyebrow in a question. Patton snapped, and a couple of donut boxes appeared on the table, along with some bags of donut holes and plates. “Perfect,” Patton said. He grabbed a plate and started piling sugary pastries onto it.

Deceit watched Patton excitedly dig into the donuts. This wasn’t something that Patton did often, preferring to cook even this early in the morning. He seemed to enjoy the process. “You must have slept so well last night, Patton,” Deceit commented, getting a plate and looking through the options. Some of the donut holes were chocolate, so he snagged a few of those.

“Oh, yeah! Like a newborn baby!” Patton replied.

“… And newborns are known for sleeping soundly through the whole night,” Deceit chuckled.

Patton sighed. “Okay, maybe my head hurt too much for me to manage to fall asleep,” he said. “The headache medicine didn’t seem to work too well. I’m a little tired today…”

Deceit tried not to think about his own intermittent sleep. He instead started humming in a vaguely sympathetic way as he tucked into his own donuts. The two were quiet. Thomas probably was not even up yet. Generally, Thomas wasn’t awake until a few minutes after Logan and Virgil started moving. Patton stood up with his plate. “Do you want some chocolate milk, Dee?” he asked.

Deceit nodded and got up to follow Patton. As Patton poured the two glasses, he seemed to get a bit nervous. Finally, he said, “I was thinking about what you said yesterday.”

Deceit took his glass. “You mean after tea?” he asked.

Patton nodded, tapping his fingers against his glass. “I… I hate to admit it, but maybe you’re right. It’s not right for Thomas to pretend he’s happy when he isn’t really. It’s not right for him to give everything up for others,” he explained.

“But…?”

“But we can’t just lie and cheat and trick people all the time to get what we want, either. There’s gotta be a balance. Society may be built on a lie, but the fact that it ALWAYS happens means there’s something real there. People need each other!” Patton continued.

Deceit hummed, his brow furrowing. “I suppose there is SOME truth to that…”

They were quiet again for a moment, munching and sipping for a bit. “Oh, and, um… Thank you for really focusing on not speaking in lies. But since we’re both tired today, and I know what you mean, you don’t have to do that,” Patton mentioned. “I really do want you and Remus to be comfortable with us. I may not agree with you guys much, but I know there’s more substance to you than we thought.”

Deceit was stunned to silence. Patton picked up his glass and said, “You wanna come and watch TV? I might just fall asleep on the couch and take a little Pat nap.”

Dee struggled not to chuckle as he followed Patton to the couch. Dad jokes are NOT funny, he told himself. Patton picked up the remote and turned the TV on. “Hm, what to watch… Disney channel? No, not right now... Cartoon Network doesn’t have anything good on right now… What would you like, Dee?”

“Captain Marvel,” he replied.

“Oh! Do you like Marvel?” Patton asked, hopping up to put the disk in.

“Not even a bit. I don’t find Captain Marvel’s story arc fascinating, nor do I love Goose,” Deceit said, taking a bite of his blueberry cake donut.

Patton laughed. “Goose is my favorite part of the whole thing! It’s such a good movie,” he sighed. He flopped onto the couch. The two were on opposite ends, but as the movie went on, Deceit found himself feeling comfortable with Patton’s laughter and comments.

Roman flounced down the stairs, pausing at the strange sight of Deceit and Patton enjoying a movie and donuts on the couch together. “Good morning, you two! Are you alright, Patton? You didn’t cook,” Roman commented.

“Oh, good morning, Roman! I couldn’t get to sleep last night, so I’m super tired. I just got donuts instead! There are those red velvet donut holes you like so much. And some jelly-filled!” Patton chirped.

Roman looked at Deceit, then back at Patton. After a moment he shrugged and got a plate of donuts. He then came and sat between Deceit and Patton on the couch, his plate full of “fancy” donuts.

Minutes later, Virgil stumbled down the stairs. Logan was only a few steps behind him. Logan went to grab a protein shake while mumbling about how unhealthy donuts are. Virgil rolled his eyes with a smile and piled a plate with chocolate donuts, filled donuts, and two glazed donuts before sitting on the arm of the armchair. Logan came in with a chocolate protein shake and a cup of coffee and sat in the armchair. Virgil flopped into Logan’s lap and handed him one of the glazed donuts. “Come on, Robot Rock. One donut isn’t gonna ruin you,” he said.

Logan took the donut, exchanging it to hand Virgil the cup of coffee. Virgil enjoyed his donuts and the movie, while Logan checked the news on his phone and sipped his protein shake.

Finally, toward the end of the movie, Remus came thundering down the stairs. “Ooo, donuts! You know what would be terrible?”

Deceit cut him off. “Remus. You can tell me that thought later, alright? Don’t sit and watch the movie.”

Remus sighed. “Alright, mom,” he grumbled. He reached blindly into the box and pulled out an éclair, then sat down across the entire love seat to eat.

Roman and Remus both hummed along to the songs playing quietly. Deceit chuckled as the twins failed to notice. The movie slowly ended, and the group all talked a bit as Patton took the movie out. “Oh! Roman, you should play piano for us!” he suddenly chirped.

“Oh, Patton, you know I love to, but I’d rather keep doing things together!” he replied.

“Well… We could jam! I’ll go get my ukulele!” he said. “Who else plays? We haven’t done a jam session in a long time; it’ll be fun!”

“Wait, how can you play the piano? Can Thomas play and I didn’t know?” Remus asked, clearly confused.

“Oh no. We can develop skills of our own whether Thomas has them or not. That is how Roman can speak Spanish, even though Thomas cannot,” Logan replied. “I play guitar and trombone, myself. And Virgil plays the drums.”

“Quite a band you have there,” Deceit chuckled. “Remus, what do you play?”

“Oh, well, I… I can play the banjo. And the ocarina!” Remus replied.

“Banjo?” Roman asked incredulously.

“A rare instrument to be able to play these days. And an interesting to Thomas’ own ties to Southern culture,” Logan commented.

“You’re just hoping he can play with you when you finally get the hang of The Devil Went Down to Georgia on that fiddle,” Virgil snorted.

Everyone wandered off to find their instruments. Deceit followed Patton, stopping at his doorway while Patton skipped into his room to find his ukulele. “I don’t play anything. I don’t need to visit my room,” Deceit commented, avoiding looking at the over-excitable man as he left his room.

Patton gasped excitedly. “What do you play?” he asked, bouncing as Dee slipped into his room.

Deceit stopped in the doorway, holding a small case. Patton’s jaw dropped as Dee gently opened it to reveal a jet-black violin. Deceit smiled a bit. “It sounds lovely with Remus’ ocarina,” he said, closing the case. “I play quite often.”

“Well, no worries! Don’t tell him I said so, but Roman’s a little out of practice too,” Patton said.

They heard piano keys downstairs; Roman was warming up. Remus barreled down the stairs in front of Deceit and Patton, holding an ocarina in one hand and his banjo in the other. Once they got downstairs, they found Logan with a folder full of sheet music and his guitar. Roman had managed to make space for and create a drum set and grand piano for Virgil and for himself. “There you are, Pops! What should we play today? A Disney medley or two? Some covers of popular music? A tribute to the late great Bach?”

Patton laughed a bit. “Well, kiddo, I’ve just got my ukulele, so I don’t really know if I could pull off Bach,” he said.

“A cover of a popular song may be an excellent way for us to gauge what would sound pleasant with the various sounds and instruments we have,” Logan commented. “Does anyone have a suggestion?”

“Blood by My Chemical Romance!” Remus crowed.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Roman would be the only one really playing there… And I take it you’d be singing?” he asked.

“Oh come on, Black Rain-On-My-Parade, it’ll be fun! You know you’ve missed my singing,” Remus replied.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Wait, you guys used to sing together?” Roman asked.

“That isn’t Remus’ favorite song. Nor is it Virgil’s favorite artist. And I have certainly never enjoyed playing it myself,” Deceit said.

Virgil glared from under his hood. “Yeah, well. That was a long time ago,” he mumbled.

Remus seemed to deflate a bit, as the others agreed that they weren’t sure about playing it. Deceit glared as he stood and stepped next to Roman. “Do you remember the words, Remus?” he asked.

Remus grinned, perking back up. “Do I? Hah! I never forgot!”

Deceit began the tune, and Remus took a breath before he began to sing. “Well, they encourage your complete cooperation! Send ya roses when they think you need to smile. I can’t control myself because I don’t! Know! How!” he belted, bouncing slightly on the last three words. “And they love me for it honestly I’ll be here for a while! So give them blood! Blood! Gallons of the stuff!”

The two finished, Remus bowing dramatically before draping himself across Roman’s piano. “Now! Who’s song is next?”

Virgil looked mortified. Logan was frowning. Patton looked like he might puke. Finally, Roman said, “You… Actually have a pretty nice voice, Remus. Let me think… What about 12? You know that song, Virgil! It would be fun!”

Virgil groaned. “It’s so angsty and childish!”

“It is an interesting look at the psyche of a preteen discontent with their life as they realize that life is not as perfect as they once thought,” Logan commented. “The tune and rhythm are also rather interesting.”

Virgil sighed and finally sat down at the drum-set. The group began to play bits and pieces of various songs. Deceit didn’t play terribly often, now and then playing a quieter song with Logan, Patton, and Roman. Patton and Remus shared a moment playing The Final Countdown, passionately but poorly.

After a few hours, Logan finally said that he needed to get to work on something with Thomas. Roman’s piano vanished as he hopped up. Remus fell to the floor with a thump, interrupting his rendition of Sweet Victory. “Oh! The new video preparation! Oh, I’ll be right there, Logan. Goodness me, I completely forgot!”

Virgil followed the two, turning to wave to Patton and glare at Deceit again. “Oh, I should go, too. I’ve missed Thomas’ friends! Um…” Patton looked awkwardly at Deceit.

“Don’t go. It will bother me greatly. Remus and I won’t have any fun with the place to ourselves,” Deceit said, grinning at Remus. Remus didn’t notice, currently using a Sharpie to draw dicks on the covers of all their movies.

Patton wrinkled his nose. “Alright… Just make sure you two clean everything up before we get back,” he said. “And… I might come back early if that headache gets too bad.”

Deceit nodded, then watched Patton vanish as he sank out. “Remus,” he suddenly said.

Remus’ face popped up over the loveseat. “What’s up, Snake?” he asked.

“We aren’t alone,” Dee said.

Remus frowned. “Doesn’t your head hurt?” he asked.

Deceit gently held his head, furrowing his brow. “Much more than before,” he said.

“Weird. Well, what should we do? Fill all their shoes with dog shit? Have another Al Capone tea party? Put condoms with goldfish in them everywhere?” Remus asked. “Oh! Let’s make Pez dispensers that dispense cheese and spam and put them everywhere!”

“We shouldn’t let Jude hang out with us while we do it,” Deceit commented.

“Hm. Maybe no cheese, then… Oh! Let’s draw horrible fanart of Megamind and Shrek in love!” Remus finally said, clearly pleased with his decision. “We can slip them under Roman’s door to drive him CRAZY!”

Deceit laughed as he went upstairs to get his snake. Jude curled happily around his neck, tucking themselves mostly under Dee’s cloak. Usually, Deceit knew it was the right temperature in the enclosure, and safer. But Remus could be nice to Jude, and Jude liked to hang out and see new things. So, now and then, Deceit would at least let them wander around his room. But being carried out to explore a completely new room with some supervision? Jude would be very happy. Not to mention feeding tonight.

“Oh, there’s everyone’s favorite spaghetti squash noodle!” Remus cooed. The donuts and such had vanished earlier in the day, and the table was now covered in craft supplies. A canvas sat in front of two seats, as well a lot of different types of paper. Paint, glitter, brushes, crayons, and all manner of other media were haphazardly spread across the table.

Dee sat down, letting Jude slither off to explore the table. Remus snapped, and all the paint containers all closed. Dee smiled a bit as he watched Remus coo and make faces at the oblivious snake. “Okay, as much as I love the banana baby, I need nasty smut art of Shrek and Megamind to make Roman angry,” he said.

“Why not make something that Roman might like?” Dee suggested.

Remus looked up in confusion. “Why? He wouldn’t even play the piano or sing with me or anything,” he said.

“Well… If you do something nice unexpectedly, perhaps he will consider you differently. Maybe draw something very sad or painful of some characters he likes,” Deceit suggested.

Remus’ eyes lit up. “Do you think he’d like that?” he asked.

Dee shrugged, reach out to pick Jude up before they slithered off the table and flopped to the floor. “Perhaps. As much as it distresses him, Thomas seems to like art and writing about characters he likes, whether it involves good endings or bad,” he said slowly.

Remus nodded. “Alright… I’ll try!” he said excitedly. He pulled out a pencil and began sketching.

Dee smiled and patted Remus on the back as he stood up. “Jude doesn’t want to explore. I won't keep an eye on them,” he said.

“Okay! Take care of that little rat catcher,” Remus said.

Deceit let Jude onto the floor in the living room, watching like a hawk as Jude wandered the floors. Deceit’s tongue unwittingly flicked out in response to Judes’. He watched the snake wander, redirecting them away from the wires behind the TV. Finally, Jude slithered over to Remus and crawled up his leg.

Remus squeaked excitedly, watching in awe as the snake slithered under the edge of his shirt and up, to stick their heads out of the v-neck of his collar and watch his art intently. “They never do this!” he breathed, looking at Deceit.

Dee smiled lightly. Jude was picky about who they nuzzled into for warmth, stopping cuddling with Virgil once he began to pull away from The Others. However, Jude was always happy to crawl under Dee’s hat or cloak. It was part of the reason he always wore extra layers. “I shouldn’t get their meal out to thaw. Don’t keep them warm a moment, please,” Deceit said, headed toward the kitchen.

In all this pleasant homey feeling, Dee was still acting a bit snake-like. He tended to not blink for long periods of time, but he generally kept himself from “blepping” or doing other snake-like things outside of his room. His tongue flicked out on occasion. He didn’t even notice Patton watching in awe until he turned away from the freezer and jumped. “Patton! You didn’t ssssssneak up on me!” he hissed.

“Oh! Gosh, sorry, Dee!” Patton said. “I… I just had never really seen you act all snakey…”

“Yes, I’m sure it was horrifying and all that. I need to get to my room,” Deceit growled.

“Not at all! It was…!” Patton paused, as Deceit’s harsh stare landed on him. “It’s kinda cool…”

Deceit’s eyes widened. He forgot, for a moment, what he was doing. “Ah.” Deceit finally shook himself up a bit. “Thank you.”

Patton smiled. Dee looked up and saw all the mess in the living room was gone. Remus had covered his canvas and was now watching Jude in awe. “Dee! They’re snoring!” he squeaked quietly.

Deceit smiled lightly, gently booping one of Jude’s snouts. They woke up, and groggily rested part most of their head and chest on Deceit’s hands. He carefully picked the snake up and out of Remus’ shirt. Patton followed, looking in awe at the two-headed snake. “What’s their name?” he asked as he followed Dee up the stairs.

“Jude,” Dee replied. “They’ve been a dear friend of mine for a long time now.”

Patton stopped at the edge of Deceit’s door. Sure, he’d gone in before, but he didn’t want to go in for very long. Deceit frowned as he turned to the door. “You trust me,” he said quietly, depositing Jude into their enclosure along with the frozen rat.

“Well… We’re still getting used to each other. A-and you haven’t gone into my room, either. I’ve been in your room,” Patton said.

Dee snorted a laugh. Patton could almost feel him closing himself off. Patton bit his lip and took a step in. “I… I didn’t even think about us Sides having pets…”

Deceit shrugged. “Never felt right to me. I like being… Lonely,” he said.

Patton nodded slowly. “Why a two-headed snake?” he asked.

Deceit took off his hat and brushed at his hair. Patton realized this was the first time Deceit had ever wittingly not worn his hat around Patton. His hair was an interesting mix of the floppy bangs that Virgil always wore, Roman's gravity-defying locks, and the classic and casual style that Patton himself preferred. “Well… Actually, Virgil and Remus worked together to make him,” Dee admitted. “They were a Christmas gift. Remus did the actual making, but Virgil assisted with the design.”

“Oh,” Patton said. They were quiet again for a few moments. “I always forget that you two and Virgil used to all be pretty close.”

Deceit nodded. “It was… We were enough for Virgil. As Thomas got older, Virgil got stronger. He wanted to be the bad guy. He wanted… He wanted to continue to hurt Thomas,” he said. “Remus and I didn’t miss him. He isn’t upset because we wanted him to stay. I… I never tried to convince him to come back and be Anxiety like we all remembered.”

“That must have been really hard… That would be like Logan deciding to leave us and go to… Where you guys used to be,” Patton said, tearing up a bit just at the thought. 

Deceit nodded. “I’m glad you came and joined us up here. We love Virgil a lot, and we're learning to love you and Remus. I know it's silly, but I really think we're going to be a happy family,” Patton said. He put a hand on Deceit’s shoulder and smiled slightly.

Deceit smiled. “My room does enhance lies. For everyone but myself and Thomas,” explained.

Patton’s brow knit. “Just you and Thomas? What about the rest of us?”

“Doesn’t enhance honesty. My room is only about lies. Not at all about truth,” Deceit replied.

Patton stood for a moment. Finally, he said, “This is kind of nice. Just… Spending time with someone who understands feelings on a more… Reasonable level. Virgil and Roman are too much. And Logan only gets it scientifically.”

Deceit smiled lightly and nodded. “It isn’t pleasant at all,” he replied.

Suddenly Remus appeared in the doorway. “I wanted a pet too! So I made one!” On his head sat… an octopus.

“Those breathe out of the water,” Deceit said.

“They do now! Meet Henry!” Remus said excitedly. The bright green octopus on his head spread its tentacles as if in jazz hands, flashing black spots as it did.

“It’s nothing like you at all,” Deceit chuckled.

“Well, that’s just about the cutest darn thing I've seen!” Patton said.

Remus pulled the octopus off his head, holding it in his hands. “He’s smart, too! I already fixed up an aquarium in my room. And sometimes, I can flood my room and we can swim around together!” he said. 

“Doesn’t sound fun at all. Or messy,” Deceit said. “Did you finish the art piece?” 

“Oh! Yeah, it’s perfect!” Remus said excitedly. “I had to sneak into Roman’s room to put it on his bed. But I put a bow on it and a note apologizing for being messy the other day.” 

“Excellent! Why don’t you go have fun with Henry now?” Deceit said. He put his hat back on, smiling as he saw Jude’s full and sleepy form. “Let’s not make cookies.” 


	6. Cookies and Crumbling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aww, they're brothers and they're trying to love each other! Oh, but what's this with Virgil and Dee? Too bad they have unresolved issues between them!

“Oh, my goodness. You’re right. Softening the butter makes it perfect,” Patton said, enjoying a still-warm cookie with a huge smile on his face.

Deceit smiled. “Did you doubt it? Not like I’ve been making cookies for years now,” he chuckled.

Patton bit into the soft monster cookie again, his eyes closing as he smiled widely. Suddenly there was the familiar “whoosh” of a side rising up. Roman, Logan, and Virgil all looked a little confused at the sight of Deceit sprawled across the couch lazily, enjoying cookies and milk with a very happy Patton. “Um. What’s going on here?” Virgil growled.

“Oh! We were making cookies, and I was saying how I always like them soft and chewy. So we softened the butter instead of melting it, and it’s perfect!” Patton said. “Sorry I left. I started hurting pretty bad…”

Virgil glared at Deceit. “Where’s Remus?”

“Remus is having fun on his own. Perhaps it will be messy, but he has a new friend. And Roman, you ought to look in your room. He made you something rather lovely,” Deceit replied.

Roman’s eyes went wide. “Remus went into my room?!” he cried.

“Why would you let him into Roman’s room?!” Virgil yelled, a touch of Tempest Tongue cutting through his gravelly voice.

“Oh yes, I simply opened the door for Remus. I had nothing to do with it. He is…” Deceit paused, his expression shifting as he looked to Roman. He was quiet, searching for the words, but unable to say them.

“I think Remus misses you, Roman.” Everyone looked in surprise at Patton.

“He… What? He knocked me unconscious in the first video he was ever in!” Roman said.

“Well, yeah. But that’s just how he is! I think you should stop yelling and go see what the gift is, okay?” Patton said. “I don’t think it’s too bad. He just made a cute lil octopus. There’s a little you in him, and a little of him in you.”

Roman turned sheet white. “What?” he asked.

“What Patton is trying to say is that you and Remus are inextricable in the long run. You yourself have made a number of suggestions that were less than tasteful in the past. And alternatively, if Patton is correct about this octopus, then that’s just one more in a pile of ideas that Remus has brought to the table that are not too terrible. It’s my job to analyze them. I’d know,” Logan interjected.

“I didn’t mean you ARE him. You’re our lovely, smart, handsome, amazing Prince Roman! But… Sometimes I can definitely see you two as the brothers you are,” Patton explained.

Roman was quiet. He looked at Deceit. “What manner of gift would The Duke care to give me?” he asked, his voice cold.

“A painting. Of what, I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Now, if you’ll pardon me, I need more milk,” Deceit said. He picked up his empty glass and walked off, whipping his cape around as he walked off.

“Drama queen,” Virgil mumbled.

Roman turned and went up the stairs. The others heard his boots falling against the floor, the usual bounce no longer in his step as he marched to his room. The door clicked open. There was a long pause.

Deceit returned and sat down. Patton leaned over. “It was a nice gift, wasn’t it…?”

“Nice as only Remus can do it,” Deceit chuckled.

Suddenly the footsteps thundered over to Remus’ room. There was thundering knocking as Roman yelled, “Remus! Open the door!”

The door opened a few moments later, and they heard what sounded like water draining. “Why hello, brother! Come to du-“ he stopped short.

Patton finally got up and headed up the stairs. Virgil and Logan followed, curious as to what had happened.

Roman was hugging Remus tightly. Remus was soaking wet but frozen as if terrified. “Wh-what did I do, Roman?” Remus finally stammered.

Roman held Remus at arm’s length, smiling through huge tears. “The painting! My god, it’s stunning! I had forgotten how good you are. You always drew such realistic mustaches on all my posters…” Roman said. “And…And it’s so touching and beautiful…”

Roman pulled Remus into a hug again. “Thank you, Remus.”

Tears wavered in Remus’ eyes. “Oh. Well… Well, you know I love to harp on emotions,” he said. He hesitantly returned Roman’s hug.

Roman finally let go and wiped his eyes. “Well. Ah. Let’s… Let’s try to make something together tomorrow. Like old times,” he said.

Remus’ eyes widened, but he nodded. Roman smiled before ducking back into his room. Remus stared in disbelief, even as Virgil walked past him to see the painting in question.

It was a watercolor, with soft edges and contrasts. It was a depiction of when Shang found his father’s helmet in Mulan. Blood was dripping off the corner of the helmet, and Shang was on his knees. The background of burnt structures, dead soldiers, a red sky with white snow, all surrounding the tragedy at the center of the painting. “Woah,” Virgil breathed.

The next few days were interesting, to say the least. Roman and Remus seemed to tiptoe around each other, struggling to find words to talk to each other. But, when they finally sat down to make something, it all flowed easily. “Okay, so imagine a cat, but a skeleton. Alive! But it just clacks everywhere it goes,” Remus said.

“Why do I hate that concept when you say it?” Virgil groaned.

“It defeats the purpose of a cat in many ways. It cannot purr, nor can it hunt mice. Those are both popular reasons for having cats,” Logan said.

“Well, it’s not SUPPOSED to make sense. We’re making a special pet for Patton. Since he’s always trying to get into Ram’s room and play with Henry,” Roman explained.

“And Patton needs a pet that makes no sense, just like him! That’s why Deceit is keeping him in his room. So we can do this!” Remus chirped.

“Right. What about a dog?” Roman asked. He conjured a small puppy, grinning immediately.

“Wait, Deceit is doing what?” Virgil asked. The brothers ignored him

Remus grinned. “A dog with laser eyes?” he asked. The dog immediately shot a laser blast from its eyes, straight through Remus’ torso.

Roman sighed, the dog disappearing. “Not for Patton. Maybe for Logan…”

Remus nodded sagely. “Patton likes pasta, right?” he asked.

“Yes, but how is that relevant?” Roman asked, frowning in confusion.

Remus held up a ferret in his hands. “Eh? Eh? Furry pasta!” he said.

“Oh! Oh my god, it’s brilliant!” Roman said. He took the ferret, changing it to have a little white heart on its shoulder against the black fur.

“It can also contort sort of disgustingly. This one can, anyway,” Remus said, taking the ferret back. It stretched and tied itself into a pretzel shape.

Roman’s concerned look was enough to make Remus hand the ferret back, untied. “Or we can just give it like this,” he said quickly.

“No, no! I… It’s not that bad. Patton would think it’s cute to have it flop everywhere…” Roman replied. The ferret stretched into a little heart.

Remus grinned. “Then he’s perfect?”

“Perfect as only we can make it, brother!” Roman said, his usual boisterous voice booming.

The two thundered up the stairs after coaxing the ferret to hide in Roman’s sleeve. They made their way to Patton’s door, and Remus knocked violently. Deceit opened the door, grinning. “Well, it is about time. I was running out of tricks Jude can do,” he chuckled.

The brothers muscled their way into the room, and Deceit stepped to the side to watch with a smirk. Patton gently set Jude down and stood up. “Well hey there, ro-y’all,” he laughed.

“Oh, that was horrific. I love it,” Remus commented.

“Patton! We have a gift to thank you for helping us try to get along again,” Roman announced, puffing his chest out proudly.

“And because Henry is touchy. Don’t want him to bite your face off or something. He did that to me a couple of times,” Remus added.

Roman held his hand palm up, and out popped the ferret. It seemed to grin as Patton gasped. “Oh my god!” he squeaked, holding out his hands to take the ferret. “It’s a fluffy noodle!”

“I told you,” Remus said, elbowing Roman in the side with a laugh.

“I love him!” Patton said, bouncing slightly as the ferret scampered up his arm and onto his shoulder. “I’m gonna name him Farfalle!”

“Like the bowtie pasta?” Deceit asked, picking Jude up and draping them around his neck.

“Exactly! Cuz he’s dapper and cute and my favorite!” Patton replied, snuggling the little ferret close. “What do you think, Farfalle?”

The ferret squeaked excitedly. Roman and Remus high-fived excitedly, and Deceit smiled as he left Patton’s room. He was met by Virgil. “It’s not gonna work,” he growled.

“Begging your pardon?” Deceit asked, crossing his arms.

Virgil huffed. “This thing you’re doing. Trying to be one of us. Trying to make us _like_ you.” He adjusted his hoodie before glaring more sharply at Deceit. “You should know it’s not that easy. Not with me around. I know what you’re about.”

Deceit looked hurt for a moment. He looked away, hiding his eyes behind his hat. “I’m sure you do. Not like we all work to protect Thomas in different ways.”

“You haven’t even told Patton your name,_ Deceit_. It’s my job to be cautious, so excuse me if I didn’t immediately go back to being your best buddy. Not like you’ve earned it. You never deserved to be what Patton is to me now,” Virgil snapped. “Pat’s sensitive. He’s too easy to manipulate. I don’t want you around him. Get this headache business over with and then stay away from Patton.” Then he shoved past Deceit to Patton’s room.

Deceit went to his room and quietly closed the door. Few places were as comforting as Deceit's room, and the shared headache that Patton and Deceit had let up as far as their rooms. There was order here, dictated only by Deceit. Jude went back into their enclosure, Dee’s boots went in the cubby under the wardrobe with his heels, his cloak and hat had their hooks by the door.

“Virgil is right, of course,” Dee said quietly, digging through his wardrobe for something. Jude’s heads lifted slowly as he spoke. “I had forgotten my objective in all of this… Being friends. I’m the bad guy. Maybe Remus can get better, being the brother and all.”

“But for me?” Here he laughed bitterly, struggling against tears as they fell. “No, no. You and I both know that snakes are the bad guy here. No matter how good our intentions. No, we must continue to fight for Thomas because there’s nothing else here for us. Well. For me.”

Finally, Deceit pulled out a yellow and black sweater. It was knitted with his logo, little faces of half black and half yellow with a finger over their mouths, and other little designs. Even if he didn’t remember it well… There was a time when the signs all got along a bit better. It was years ago, now, but Deceit was once a coping mechanism to help steady Anxiety. One must lie to fit in. He was once respected and loved. Logic, of course, disliked him. But Creativity enjoyed the acting help, especially for parts Thomas didn’t fully like or agree with. And Morality…

Deceit shook his head, taking off his yellow button-down and replacing it with the sweater. All of that was a long time ago. The sweater was merely a product of that time. A comforting thing that gave him hope that maybe they could understand each other again. He took off his sensible socks, switching to his fuzzier black socks. He couldn’t handle his façade all the time. Every now and then, even Deceit needed to be unabashedly himself.

He snapped, and a soda and a bowl of popcorn appeared on his desk. In theory, any Side could conjure anything in the mindscape. However, depending on where a side was, it was easier to conjure some things than others. Food in places besides the kitchen or at the table took some effort, for example. Soap anywhere but the bathroom or sink was very hard. The only ones not bound by this rule were Roman and Remus, being Creativity.

Deceit opened the small laptop sitting on the desk as he curled into the desk chair. He tossed some popcorn into his mouth, ignoring the tears running down his face. A lie of omission to himself? A new one. He clicked to open YouTube, and the laptop suddenly crashed.

Deceit huffed and restarted it. Again, it crashed when he tried to open YouTube. Dee glared around his room. Sometimes Remus would be busy, but know something was wrong. So he would fuck up Dee’s stuff to force him to ask for help.

“Not today,” Dee sighed to himself. He grabbed a book off the shelf. He jumped as it turned into a butterfly and set itself back on the shelf before becoming a book again.

Deceit growled quietly. “Fine.” He flopped onto his bed, pulling the blankets up around him. He grabbed his stuffed lizard -quite a large plush- and curled into it.

Some days, things were simply too much. Deceit always preferred not to interact with people, but he had done so with the others lately. He couldn’t handle how Virgil glared daggers any time Dee smiled, or one of the others did something remotely nice. “I don’t deserve that,” Dee sighed, speaking again to Jude. “I didn’t hurt him. I deserve to be happy.”

The snake flicked its tongues out, still watching Deceit. “Give me that look, Jude. I love when you get all condescending on me,” he sighed. “I’m not going to sleep.”


	7. Soup And Snuggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was I projecting my difficulty letting others be upset alone onto Patton? Was I showing my own RSD through Dee's sudden shut-down? Nope! You can't prove that! You CAN prove that there's something lovey-dovey and ADORABLE going on out here.

Patton’s head ached a bit as he sat at the table, his fingers drumming a tune on the tabletop. Everyone had eaten breakfast, except Deceit. Logan had done the dishes, Virgil had wiped down the counters, and Roman had put away the leftovers. Remus had enjoyed an omelet and Kool-Aid shake for breakfast and had helped clean by licking the table to clear any crumbs. Patton had thanked him, then wiped it all up with a Lysol wipe.

Then he had sat down to wait for Deceit, while the others wandered off to take care of their responsibilities. An hour passed. Patton had cleaned the living room entirely. “Maybe he’s just sleeping in…” Patton said to Farfalle, who was flopped around Patton’s neck as he vacuumed.

Two hours passed. The kitchen was swept, mopped, and the stove had been carefully cleaned. Farfalle was munching on a bite of grilled chicken from the night before, watching Patton carefully. “Well, maybe he’s just taking some time for himself! That’s good, right?”

Three hours, and we’re back at the beginning. Patton drummed his fingers on the table, watching Farfalle entertain himself with a big paper bag. “Okay… Maybe something’s wrong,” Patton finally said.

Patton didn’t want to admit it to the others, especially with how Virgil didn’t trust Deceit, but Patton had grown to enjoy Deceit’s company. After a few days of being nearly joined at the hip to avoid a headache, and then a couple of weeks of rarely being too far for the same reason, Patton found himself constantly looking to see that distinct, scaly face near him.

Patton reached out and picked the paper bag up, pulled Farfalle out of it, and started up the stairs to Dee’s room. Soft violin played behind the door. Farfalle wrapped himself around Patton’s right hand like a little bracelet. Patton raised his left hand to knock… And stopped.

Farfalle looked up at Patton. His face was a confusing mix of fear, hopelessness, care, worry, and swelling doubt. The ferret let go of Patton’s arm, dropped to the floor, and squeezed under the door. Patton dropped on all fours, trying to grab the squirming fluffy critter. “No! Fal, stop! Bad noodle!” he whispered harshly. But the ferret was already gone.

The violin stopped abruptly. A moment later, the door opened just as Patton hopped to his feet. “I think this one belongs to you,” Deceit said softly, handing Farfalle to Patton while avoiding eye contact.

“Oh! Um… Hey, Dee, did… Have you eaten anything at all today?” Patton asked.

“Yes,” Deceit replied.

“I think you’re lying. Dee… What happened? You seem upset,” he asked.

Deceit sighed. “It’s nothing, Patton. I simply have… Work,” he said, raking a hand through his hair before putting his hat on.

Patton looked at him closely. Deceit refused to show his eyes, but Patton could still see the red and puffy splotches on his face. He wasn’t wearing his usual clothes. Instead, he was wearing a knitted sweater and a pair of faded jeans along with his hat. The door was only barely opened, but Patton could see three empty soda cans, blankets all over the floor, and Dee’s violin on the bed. “Deceit… Come downstairs, please. We can get some ice cream and talk. I don’t want you to have to be upset alone,” Patton pleaded.

Farfalle looked between the two. Dee finally spoke. “I’m fine, Patton. Go enjoy your day.” The door clicked shut.

Patton’s brow furrowed. He went to his room and put Farfalle on one of the shelves as he paced. “I need to know how to help him… But I don’t want Remus to barge in and make things worse for him or anything,” Patton mumbled to himself. Farfalle watched him pacing and mumbling for a moment, then went to attack the little plush cat toy on the shelf.

“What’s up, Pat?” Patton jumped and yelped, spinning around to see Virgil.

Then his eyes lit up. “Virgil! You used to know Deceit, right?” he asked.

Virgil shifted his weight from one foot to another before answering. “Used to, yeah,” he said.

“Oh, this is perfect! See, he’s all upset. But I don’t know how to make him feel better! He just looks so sad, and he’s conjuring food in his room instead of eating with us. He was playing violin really sadly, too. I just want to know what’s got him upset and make it better!” Patton explained.

Virgil didn’t say anything. His hood was pulled up around his face, and he was staring at the floor near Patton’s feet as he glared darkly. “Patton… I wouldn’t worry about him. He can handle things by himself. He’ll be fine,” Virgil said.

Patton’s face seemed to fall. “You mean… Oh…” he sighed.

“No, not like… Goddammit. Pat, listen. You can’t trust him. Do you remember the trial? How he sent Remus to pester Thomas? His name, for god’s sake. What’s his name, Patton?” Virgil seemed to plead as he looked into Patton’s eyes.

“His… His name is Deceit…” Patton’s voice faltered.

“No! It’s not! He’s not going to tell you his name, either! Patton, you can’t trust him, as much as you want to. He’s a liar. It’s in his nature. Stop trying to be friends with him,” Virgil shouted. “He tosses his friends away and shuns them, or else he manipulates them. Okay? You can’t just be all buddy-buddy with a guy like that!”

Virgil stopped as he noticed Farfalle scrambling back to his cage. Tears threatened to spill over in Patton’s eyes. His room was suddenly taking on cooler tones and colors. Virgil felt heavy as Patton spoke. “You’re right. I… I just wanted to trust him. How we learned to trust you. He seemed better. I guess not. I’m gonna go make lunch now,” Patton said quietly.

Virgil followed Patton just past the door, closing it behind him. He bit his lip as he watched Patton make his way slowly down the stairs. As he turned, Virgil found himself nose-to-tie with Logan. “Odd. Patton was looking forward to making grilled cheese. Have you seen Deceit? I am worried about Patton cooking with that headache still plaguing them,” Logan said.

“Uh, well, Dee’s being a jerk and sitting in his room, so-“ Virgil growled.

Logan cut him off. “It does not do well for part of Thomas to harbor a grudge against another, Virgil,” he said softly. “I know how you feel about Deceit, but I have also seen how Patton looks at Deceit. They are, for better or worse, inextricable. They represent two halves of one part of Thomas.”

“Come on, Lo. You know it’s still not good for him. He’s too gullible. Deceit could trick him and manipulate him into god only knows what,” Virgil replied.

Logan sighed, placing a hand on either of Virgil’s shoulders and looking him in the eye. “You know we cannot afford for any part of Thomas to step out again. You know better than any of us. You have every right to be cautious, but I believe that soon Thomas will be talking with Deceit. It will be vital that we do not completely ostracize Deceit while keeping him in check. Lying is, morally speaking, wrong. However, covering things up to avoid potentially dangerous situations is something else entirely,” he said. “You can’t hate forever, Virge. Come on. You learned to love me. At least give Deceit another chance.”

Virgil sighed. “Fine, whatever. God, it’s so hard to say no when you use facts and that cute dumb face of yours,” he groaned.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “We have the same face,” he said.

“Not really in the mindscape, Specs,” Virgil chuckled. “It all changes a little.”

Patton was making grilled cheese. Either by magic or by cooking so much, no grilled cheese had ever been better than Patton’s. With several different types of cheese, perfectly crunchy bread, real butter with a hint of garlic to grease the pan, and a side of hearty tomato soup, it was everyone’s favorite. Making it always seemed to lift Patton’s spirits, putting Thomas in a bouncy mood.

Today seemed to be the exception. Virgil could’ve sworn that the cheese on top of the tomato soup had melted into a sad face. Patton started humming a slow tune, and Roman later mentioned that he was certain it was a song called The Mute by Radical Face. Logan frowned, watching from a distance as Patton rather sloppily put things into the pan. It was all still delicious, but it didn’t feel the same.

Patton didn’t stop to eat with the others. He took two plates up the stairs, catching Remus before he went downstairs. “Hey, Ram! Do me a favor and open Dee’s door for me?” he chirped.

“Oh, no problem, Patton!” Remus replied. There was a loud crash as he slammed his head through the door, and a shrieking sort of hiss as Remus slammed his arm through the door as well. “Oh come on, Dee. At least it wasn’t my ass this time!”

Remus extricated himself from the door, letting Patton in with his hands full. Dee was curled on his bed, clutching his plush lizard to his chest as he glared at Remus. “Don’t fret, my scaley companion!” Roman shouted from downstairs. The door suddenly repaired and shut itself, leaving just Deceit and Patton in Dee’s room.

“Hi. I didn’t know he’d do that. I brought you grilled cheese and soup,” Patton said, setting the meal on the desk.

Deceit slowly let go of the plush lizard, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and looking from the plate to Patton. “Thank you,” he finally said.

Patton awkwardly shifted from one foot to the other. “Um… C-could I eat with you in here? I want to talk to you…” he said awkwardly.

Dee quietly picked up the plate Patton had set down. He snapped, and all the trash in the room vanished. His bed made itself and he sat down, patting the space next to him.

Patton plopped down onto the bed and sighed, picking up his grilled cheese and taking a big bite. “So. Um. You’re upset today,” he said.

Deceit didn’t reply, dunking his sandwich in the bowl of tomato soup. Patton put a hand on his shoulder, and Dee finally met his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but no one should deal with being upset all alone. So I’m gonna stay here with you and we can be upset together,” Patton said. His eyes fell to the floor as he added, “Unless you ask me to leave.”

Deceit studied Patton’s face. He could see the fragile emotions in his eyes. The worry and confusion and sadness reflected his own. Dee smiled lopsidedly. “I would hate to spend time with you.”

The two finished their food in silence. Patton ran downstairs to put the dishes in the sink, then headed back up with two pints of ice cream. When he got back to Deceit’s room, Deceit had two blankets pulled onto the bed and his laptop set up on his lap. Patton crawled into the bed next to him, smiling widely as he handed Dee a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream.

Deceit took the ice cream with a smile, watching as Patton opened his pint of The Tonight Dough and slowly realize he’d forgotten spoons. When he looked back up, Deceit was holding two spoons and offered him one.

Then the two curled into the blankets and turned on Bambi. It was a quiet afternoon, with nothing but movies and ice cream ending in Patton asleep on Deceit’s shoulder. As Dee carefully picked up the pint of ice cream and snapped it back to the freezer, he found himself hoping the moment would continue forever. He blinked in surprise at the thought, looking down at Patton. He was curled against Dee, a hand grasping his sweater to pull him closer.

Deceit glanced up to see Jude watching the two. The snake’s tongues flicked out, almost teasing poor Dee. He stuck his tongue out in return, blushing a bit. But he pulled the blanket up around Patton’s shoulders before turning on another movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all seriousness, this has been a hard chapter to finish. But what was that Logan said? Thomas will talk to Dee soon? Fun!


End file.
